Twilight: Naruto Version
by 1Tokyogirl11
Summary: SasuxSaku/About one thing Sakura was absolutely positive. Sasuke was a vampire./Written in script format/Parody,crack OOC-ness./Pairings: SasukexSakura YugaoxKakashi HinataxNaruto MinatoxKushina InoxKiba, slight TemarixLee One-sided KibaxSakura SakuraxLee
1. Cast

A/N: I just re-watched Twilight, so I'm just doing this , which won't take a long time. Now, here's twilight Naruto version! It may or may not be a crack fic; I'll decide that when I write it. Also, if you review, your name will get written in the story, whether you flame or not. Enjoy! The casting is here, and the story starts in the next chapter!

**And did you ever notice that if you look closely at the actors/actresses, they all look Asian at one point? Even the blondes. Weird.**

**Oh yeah, btw, It's going to be like Twilight, but with the ninja's names AND faces. The cast list just shows who they are, but not who they're **_**acting**_** as. Like, Sakura is Bella, but in the story she's Sakura Swan. And for the Cullens, they're the Uchihas instead XD Lol.**

**Oh yeah, and the Akatsuki are the Volturi, so they won't be appearing in the story until I make a New Moon Naruto Version.**

**So, it goes, **

**Who they're supposed to be: Real name: Name in the story**

**Example: **

**Bella Swan: Sakura Haruno: Sakura Swan **

**Get it? Good.**

Main Cast

**Bella Swan: Sakura Haruno: Sakura Swan**

**Edward Cullen: Sasuke Uchiha: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Alice Cullen: Hinata Hyuga: Hinata Uchiha**

**Jasper Cullen: Naruto Uzumaki (They both look overly constipated, so why not?): Naruto Uchiha**

**Emmett Cullen: Kakashi Hatake: Kakashi Uchiha**

**Rosalie Cullen: Yugao Uzuki (Anbu Black Ops): Yugao Uchiha**

**Carlisle Cullen: Minato Namikaze(I don't care if he died, 4****th**** Hokage's Carlisle now): Minato Uchiha**

**Esme Cullen: Kushina Uzumaki(I don't care if she died, Naruto's mom is Esme now.): Kushina Uchiha**

**Jacob Black: Neji Hyuga (LOL): Neji Black "We used to make mudpies together." XD I CAN IMAGINE THAT**

**Billy Black: Fugaku Uchiha (I KNOW HE'S DEAD.): Fugaku Black**

**Charlie Swan: Sakura's dad (Yes, I know, we don't know who that is.): Charlie Swan**

**Bella's Mom: Sakura's mom (Yes, I know, we don't know who that is.): Renee Dwyer **

**Peter: Orochimaru auditioned for this, but instead, Iruka got it. LOL: Iruka **

**Laurence: Gai: Gai (LOOOOOOL)**

**Victoria: Kurenai Yuhi: Kurenai**

**James: Asuma Sarutobi: Asuma**

Supporting Cast

**Eric Yorkie: Rock Lee: Lee Yorkie**

**Mike Newton: Kiba Inuzuka: Kiba Newton **

**Jessica Stanley: Ino Yamanaka: Ino Stanley**

**Angela Weber: Temari no Sabaku (I know XD): Temari Weber**

**Tyler Crowley: Gaara no Sabaku (XD): Gaara Crowley**

**Mr. Molina: Some random teacher I pulled out from the ninja academy: Mr. Molina  
**

**The lady at the front office: Some random old lady I pulled from the street: The lady at the front office**

**Wylon: Some random dude I met at a fishing place: Wylon (He gets killed, anyways)**

**The lady who works as a waitress at the pancake place: Some random lady: The lady who works as a waitress at the pancake place**

**The waitress who tries to flirt with Edward: A slut I pulled from L.A. : The waitress who tries to flirt with Sasuke**

**The guys who try to molest Bella: Guys I found on the streets: The guys who try to molest Sakura**

**Jacob's friend who has only one line: Random dude: Neji's friend who has only one line**

**Jacob's friend who doesn't talk: Random dude: Neji's friend who doesn't talk**

**Guy who sells a book to Bella: Random old dude: Guy who sells a book to Sakura**

**The fan that blows Bella's hair around and causes Edward to look like he's going to puke: A fan: The fan that blows Sakura's hair around and causes Sasuke to look like he's going to puke**

**Okay, I admit it, now I'm just making random shit up.**


	2. You!

**A/N: Okay, so I'm starting the story in this chapter. AND, THIS WILL BE A PARODY/CRACK FANFIC! It will be written in script format, just so you know. And, flame me, or review. ALSO, IF YOU REVIEW, YOU WILL GET YOUR NAME WRITTEN IN THE SPECIAL THANKS**

I wrote this quite a long time ago, and I'm posting it here because I just deleted a sucky story. :)  


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Naruto. I wonder why people hate Twilight so much. Is it because almost everyone in Twilight is beautiful, and they're not? Or is it because of the plot…I don't like the plot too much myself. But it's mostly because the romance is a bit messed up. But eh, what do I care?**

* * *

_**T**W**I**L**I**G**H**T: **N**A**R**U**T**O **V**E**R**S**I**O**N**_

**Preface**

Sakura: I've never gave much thought to how I would die.

***Camera shakes violently***

Deer: ***Runs***

Sakura: ***Starts boring monologue***

***Camera shakes even more violently***

Deer: ***Runs***

Sakura: ***Still going on with boring monologue***

Deer: ! ***Gets killed by a mysterious person in a hoodie and jeans***

***Camera still shaking violently***

Sakura: ***End boring monologue ***

Director: Why do I get the feeling that the deer had nothing to do with the monologue?

* * *

**Phoenix, Arizona**

Sakura Swan: Oh, I'm going to move to Forks.

Sakura: And I'm going to take this cactus with me. *Picks up cactus and hugs it*

Sakura: Bye bye, Arizona! *Still hugging cactus*

* * *

**In Charlie's Car**

Charlie Swan: So…

Sakura: so… *Still hugging cactus*

* * *

**Swan House**

Charlie: *Stalks Sakura up stairs* Oh yeah, and there's only one bathroom

Sakura: Oh. *Obviously thinking, Oh, SHIT! ONE BATHROOM!*

Sakura: Kay then.*STILL HUGGING CACTUS*

Charlie: *Disappears magically*

Sakura: Small room…*Looks around room, obviously thinking it sucks*

*Car horn honks outside*

Sakura: *Looks out window then rushes (and trips) down stairs*

Charlie: Hey Sakura, you remember Fugaku?

Fugaku Black: *Wearing cowboy hat and looking uncomfortable* Hey Sakura!

Sakura: Uhm…

Charlie: Oh yeah, he's in a wheelchair now, so the truck's yours.

Sakura: Oh! I LOVE IT! *Obviously thinking it needs a paint job*

*Charlie and Fugaku go play on the road*

Neji Black: Hey, remember me?

Sakura: You…?

Neji: We used to make mudpies together.

Sakura: *Obviously creeped out by the mudpie comment* Uh…ok?

* * *

**Next day, at Forks High School**

Sakura: *Parks ugly car and tries not to notice people staring at her*

Lady at the office: *Smiles and is thinking OMG! ITS SAKURA SWAN!*

Sakura: …

Lee Yorkie: Heyy! You must be Sakuraka Swan!

Sakura: Sakura's fine, thanks. *obviously creeped out by that zit*

Lee: So, I'm like, the ears and eyes of this place.

Sakura: Oh, yeah.

Lee: And I work for the newspaper.

Sakura: Oh, yeah.

Lee: Are you even listening to me?

Sakura: Oh, yeah.

* * *

**Gym**

Sakura: OUCH! *ball hits face*

*Everyone grumbles*

Sakura: I TOLD them not to give it to me.

Kiba Newton: Hey, you're Sakuraka Swan, right?

Sakura: Sakura's fine, thanks.

Kiba: *Checking her out*

Ino Stanley: *In a overly happy voice* HIII!

* * *

**Cafeteria**

Ino: So…

*Everyone starts talking randomly*

Eric: So, about the newspaper

Temari Weber: *randomly comes in and takes a picture*

Sakura: EEEK! NO PICTURES! PLEASEEE!

Temari: Aw, guess we'll have to do the article on penguins again.

Eric: So, you've met Sakura, my girl.

Kiba: Your girl? She's my girl.

Sakura: ***Ignores the fools***

***Vampires are in slow-mo 'cause that makes them seem cooler***

Sakura: Who are they?

Ino: Oh, they're the Uchihas. They all live…

***CUE SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC***

Ino: T.O.G.E.T.H.E.R. .. . Together. TOGETHER!

Sakura: Ew, spaz out away from me.

Ino: Minato Uchiha adopted all of them. Like, Kushina Uchiha can't give birth or something.

Ino: AND THEY ALL LIVE TOGETHERR!

Sakura: …You already said that.

Ino: That girl, that's Yugao, and that's Kakashi. They're like, a thing.

***Yugao and Kakashi are walking in slo mo***

Sakura: ***nods***

Ino: That short one's Hinata, and the one that looks overly constipated is Naruto.

***Hinata and Naruto are walking in slo mo***

Sakura: ***nods*** Who's that?

***Sasuke is walking in slo mo***

Ino: Oh, that's Sasuke, but apparently, no one here's good enough for him.

Sakura: …

Sasuke: ***Smiling awkwardly, and then looks at Sakura***

Sakura: Ooohhkayyy then.

* * *

**Mr. Molina's Class**

Mr. Molina: Hey, my name's Mr. Molina! I randomly changed my name from Mr. Banner to Mr. Molina cause I wanted my name to sound Hispanic!

Sakura: ***Steps in front of fan with yellow stripes***

***Fan with yellow stripes blows***

Sakura: ***Hair blows around***

Sasuke: ***Holds his nose and looks like he's going to puke***

Sakura: Do I smell bad?

Sakura: ***Gets into seat***

Sasuke: ***Pushes over water-DRUGS!-***

Sakura: Okay?

Sasuke: ***EVIL GLARE and FLINCH*** You…you….you…you…you…

* * *

**A/N: CLIFFYHANGER! xD Next part coming out soon.**

**PUSH THE REVIEW BUTTON!**

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**!**_P_**U**_S_**H**_!_


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